


Crumbling Walls

by yellange (orphan_account)



Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 03:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/yellange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'My parents want me to get married' and Jaejoong's world started to fall apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crumbling Walls

“My parents want me to get married.”

Jaejoong's eyes snapped up from the book he was reading. It was a rare lazy Sunday for him and the rest of the members. While the others went out, he stayed home immersed in adventurous stories enjoying the solitude and the warming sun bathing him through the windows. He hadn’t noticed Yunho’s arrival, so his statement startled him. Not only because of its content but also because he didn’t expect anyone to return so early.

“What?”

“They said that they found this girl and that she's perfect for me. Intelligent, cute and a good housewife. Apparently, she's independent too so she won't miss me when I'm out of country or when I have practice the whole night. She studied Public Relations or something, so she could even work with me as my manager– ”

“But you're not doing it,” Jaejoong said matter-of-factly, interrupting the line of bull. Yunho had burped that list like a kid who memorizes the multiplication table by heart and doesn’t yet understand the meaning of what he’s saying. Those facts sounded like just an inventory of excuses Yunho needed to convince –and fool– himself with but Jaejoong knew better. Even if his boyfriend engraved those girl’s virtues on his skin, his heart wouldn't accept her. It was true that Yunho was a rational man and that he always thought twice before acting but he was as true to his heart as he was to his mind.

“What can I say? This was bound to happen eventually.” The defeated look Yunho gave Jaejoong frightened him. The subject wasn’t new to them, sometimes jokingly and sometimes as a hot topic of an argument, it was always between them. It made them feel as if an invisible wall was being built up in between them trying to break them apart, each one of its bricks an impediment (society they lived in, their careers, their families,...). Jaejoong had always hoped for that barrier to vanish by itself, believing that if he doesn’t think about it, it’ll eventually disappear. He knew it was childish of him to deal with a problem in such a manner but he wasn’t able to change anything even if he tried and the truth is he is tired of it all. Tired of waiting until they are alone just to be able to touch Yunho properly, even if it’s just a hug. Tired of holding back the emotions. Oh so sick of faking smiles while the MCs teased Yunho during interviews about how many pretty girls had asked him out. All that was a funny game at first and they would laugh together remembering the secret hints they leave for each other but as all games, you get tired of it eventually.

Jaejoong sighed.

“Maybe it's time for you to tell them that you can’t love her.”

“Love is not the point, Jaejoong. I can dodge it now but I won’t be so lucky the next time or the next one after that. They expect me to marry, to have children of my own. The company thinks it's a good idea too. Fans had already grown up from teenagers to women with responsibilities and families, my parents side with SM too; that it would be good if I marry as soon as possible.”

“Tell me you're not considering it,” the lead singer stated, suddenly cold seeping in his chest. “You'll be miserable living a life of lies.”

“I need a family.”

That was the last straw that broke him, what turned the cold into fire.

“We are your family. We are a family.”

“You know that's not–.”

“Fuck you, Yunho! Families exist even if people are not related by blood. How many times have you said that Changmin, Junsu, Yoochun and I are your brothers? Were you lying? Dammit. How many times have you heard that a dog is part of a family too? And dogs and humans aren’t even from same species! Why does that not apply to two men? Why can't we be a family too? Why don’t you see it?”

“What do you want me to do?” Yunho retorted, losing his temper. It wasn’t a situation he wanted to be in and Jaejoong wasn’t making it easier, not that he expected him to but still.

“Tell them the truth. Tell them that you can't marry a girl. Tell them that you are with me. Tell them you can't marry her because you love me!” The tears and emotions Jaejoong was trying to hold back were catching up with him now and he paused for a moment, trying to compose himself. The silence felt like the calm before the storm.

“If you don't tell them I will. I fucking tell the whole world if needed be but I won't let you do that and ruin your chances of being happy,” his voice cracked. With me. The unsaid words felt heavy on his tongue, squeezing his chest and suffocating him even more than before. The mere thought of being apart of Yunho agonized him.

“I didn't expect you would understand. You live your own life without second thoughts. You never think of the consequences of your actions but one of the two have to be responsible.”

Those words stabbed Jaejoong even if they were said in a soothing voice and suddenly he realized the matter was not a discussion but a notice. Yunho had already made his decision and the older of the two felt like a kid left out of family problems. His boyfriend was still talking but Jaejoong’s ears were deaf, grasping just parts of it while trying to understand.

Yunho was reacting like a wounded animal, attacking to shield himself from hurting more. Jaejoong knew that and he also knew that what he was hearing was completely true but he was feeling cornered too and so his insecure self attacked as well.

“If it weren't for me, the reckless one, there wouldn't be us. If I hadn't kissed you while you were at the hospital there wouldn’t be us. If I hadn't pushed you so many times against what you thought was not right, there wouldn’t be us.” He was pointing each statement with a rough blow on Yunho’s chest, making the younger man stumble blindly towards the wall. “If I weren't the kind of person who grabs what he wants instead of thinking twice, there wouldn’t be us because I'm pretty damn sure you wouldn't have done it.”

“Jae...” Yunho lifted a sympathetic hand to the blonde’s face.

“Don’t touch me. I know what you are going to do. You're as predictable as I'm unpredictable and if you do it I sure as hell will fucking punch you.”

Yunho let his hand fall and remain motionless. He had never looked more lost than at that moment and Jaejoong got down from his irate state. It shouldn’t be a fight between them but a battle to face together, side by side, like companions, like lovers.

Sighing Jaejoong backed away realizing that Yunho had already stopped fighting for them. He was already waging his own war far away from him.

“What we have is beautiful. What we are is beautiful and it's right. Loving someone shouldn't be crossed out as something wrong or immoral or something you need to hide from the world. I thought you already learned that after so long but I guess I was wrong.”

Jaejoong left when Yunho mutedly looked away, hoping for his legs to carry him away from the apartment before his crumbling world started to fall apart.


End file.
